A Corny Joke Off!!

Why did the scarecrow win an award?


Because he was outstanding in his field.

How do you cheer up sad corn?


Tell it some corny jokes!

PS: there should be plenty of cheerful corn around here! 😂

Okay... So there is a Weasel sitting in a bar drinking his beer... Been there a while. A second Weasel walks in and sits down beside him, orders a beer as well. They sit there quietly drinking. Before long the first weasel looks directly at the second weasel and yells I "slept your mother!"... The second weasel does not even look at him. he just continues sipping his beer as if nothing had happened. Everybody in the bar took notice but nothing was said as things slipped right back into a quiet din of light conversation as the two weasels sat sipping their beers in silence..... After about 5 min the first weasel again looks at the first and again yells (very loudly) I "slept your mother!".... This time the whole bar goes quiet and everyone is staring, wondering if there is going to be a fight. But the second weasel again does not respond, does not even look at the first, just slowly quietly takes another sip of beer. Slowly but surely the bar once again goes back to it's low din of murmurs and gossip. Two minutes go by and the first weasel slams his fist down on the bar yelling " did you hear me? I slept with your mother!" Everybody is staring... You could hear a pin drop as the second weasel slowly turns to the first and says... "You are drunk dad, go home".

Sam I Am 1966

Why did the scarecrow win an award?


Because he was outstanding in his field.

There's a story, a legend, maybe a myth, about a man who applied for a position as an advertising executive. Instead of a resume with his positions and accomplishments, he sent in a picture of him standing in a field of some kind, with the caption, "Outstanding In His Field."
According to the story, he got the position.

I have a vague recollection of such a picture, but a cursory search didn't come up with anything. Probably 50+ years ago.
Yeah, I'm that old.

BostonBadlands

Mime--meme-- of the day:
L

Lmao

Ouch!!

Cheers

Kenneth

Ouch!!

Cheers

IMO this is the best one yet.

At the time I started this I didn't know I would be swapping jokes with my granddaughters. This has come in very handy.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?


Dough Nuts.

🐎

My room mates seem to think our house is haunted.....

But in the 249 years I have lived here I have not seen or heard anything that makes me think it is...

"Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!"
"But sir, it was fresh ground this morning."

Sven

Smh